i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
