I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
