When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
