I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize