She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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