i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
