I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
