yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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