can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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