I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
