i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this will be a night to untag.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
