He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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