Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Randomize
