It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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