tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
