We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's never too late to be topless.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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