I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
