Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
