Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
