maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
