There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
