I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
