Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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