so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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