So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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