dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
