You're my little dorito
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
