I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
