she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
