guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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