OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
