I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
