I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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