I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
