It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
