I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
