My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
