If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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