I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
