Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
