I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
what day is it and did you see me today?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
