i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
