If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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