I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
