She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's official drugs can't kill me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
