i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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