last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
