bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
