Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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