Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize