dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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