What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
