Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
