you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
