can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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