I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
