I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
