My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
