VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
