plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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