my room smells like sperm. sweet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bring me that man meat
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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