I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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