We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
