You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
