Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
