I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize